Women Quotations©winnie caw 2002
(follow the arrows below for more of winnie caw's whimsy, or click on a link)

Home Page

Women are a problem, but they are the kind of problem I enjoy wrestling with.

~ Warren Beatty

***

To win a woman in the first place you must please her, then undress her, and then somehow get her clothes back on her, finally, so that she will let you leave her, you've got to antagonise her.

~ Jean Giradoux

***

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out from what.

~ Mae West

***

Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

~ Earl Wilson

***

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

~ Stuart Turner

*** 

God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his solitude more keenly.

~ Paul Valery

***

God made man, and then said I can do better than that and made woman.

~ Adela Rogers St John

***

Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

~ John Vanbrugh, 'The Relapse' 1696

***

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat.

~ P J O'Rourke, 'Modern Manners', 1984

***

Claudia's the sort of girl who goes through life holding onto the sides.

~ Alice Thomas Ellis, 'The Other Side of the Fire', 1983

***

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

~ Samuel Johnson

***

I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.

~ Rebecca West, 'The Young Rebecca', 1982

***

Most women loathe limericks, for the same reason that calves hate cookbooks.

~ Gershon Legman

***

I don't want to talk grammar, I want to talk like a lady.

~ George Bernard Shaw, 'Pygmalion', 1916

***

Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.

~ Edna Ferber

***

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

~ Oscar Wilde, 'The Picture of Dorian Gray', 1891

***

It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.

~ Mamie Van Doren

***

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

~ Charlotte Whitton

***

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

~ Mae West

***

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle. You don't have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

~ Alan Ayckbourn, 'Round and Round the Garden', 1975

***

How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?

~ P J O'Rourke, 'Modern Manners', 1984

***

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

~ Helen Rowland

***

If a woman hasn't met the right man by the time she's twenty-four, she may be lucky.

~ Deborah Kerr

***

In her early days she had that beatific expression characteristic of Victorian prettiness - like a sheep painted by Raphael.

~ James Agate (of Lillie Langtry)

***

This was an actress who, for twenty years, had the world at her feet. She kicked it away, and the ball rolled out of her reach.

~ James Agate (of Mrs Patrick Campbell)

***

One of the reasons I don't see eye to eye with Women's Lib is that women have it all on a plate if only they knew it. They don't have to be pretty either.

~ Charlotte Rampling

***

Plain women he regarded as he did the other severe facts of life, to be faced with philosophy and investigated by science.

~ George Eliot, 'Middlemarch', 1872

***

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she's worth all she costs you.

~ W Somerset Maugham, 'A Writer's Notebook', 1949

***

She does not understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought World War Eleven.

~ Joan Rivers

***

A woman is no sooner ours than we are no longer hers.

~ Montaigne

***

I used to think it a pity that her mother rather than she had not thought of birth control.

~ Muriel Sparks (of Marie Stopes)

***

Rich widows: The only secondhand goods that sell at first-class prices.

~ Benjamin Franklin

***

She is a peacock in everything but beauty.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

~ Mae West (attrib.)

***

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement...Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything.

~ Neil Simon, 'Gingerbread Lady', 1970

***

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

~ Christopher Morley

***

The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.

~ Frank McKinney Hubbard

***

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

Her interest in natural history was confined to observation of the crows' feet gathering around her eyes.

~ Nicholas Bentley

***

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

~ Mae West, 'She Done Him Wrong', 1933

***

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when.

~ P G Wodehouse

***

Her cooking suggested she had attended the Cordon Noir.

~ Leo Rosten

***

She wore a low but futile décolletage.

~ Dorothy Parker

***

She laughs at eveything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

~ Benjamin Franklin

***

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

~ Barbara Cartland

***

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary. When her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief.

~ Oscar Wilde, 'The Picture of Dorian Gray', 1891

***

A vacuum with nipples.

~ Otto Preminger (of Marilyn Monroe)

***

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

~ Judith Viorst

***

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

A woman is a creature that's always shopping.

~ Ovid

***

No woman is worth the loss of a night's sleep.

~ Sir Thomas Beecham

***

With women you don't have to talk your head off. You just say a word and let them fill in from there.

~ Satchel Paige

***

Life is not long enough for a coquette to play all her tricks.

~ Joseph Addison

***

The entire being of a woman is a secret which should be kept.

~ Isak Dinesen

***

Housekeeping in common is for women the acid test.

~ André Maurois

***

There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, and turn her into literature.

~ Lawrence Durrell

***

Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?

~ Germaine Greer

***

Let men do their duty and the women will be such wonders; the female lives from the light of the male: see a male's female dependants, you know the man.

~ William Blake

***

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

~ Jane Austen

***

Women can always be caught; that's the first rule of the game.

~ Ovid

***

In all the woes that curse our race/There is a lady in the case.

~ W S Gilbert

***

Women's hearts are like old china, none the worse for a break or two.

~ W Somerset Maugham

***

Women are silver dishes into which we put golden apples.

~ Goethe

***

Sphinxes without secrets.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

Women are like dreams - they are never the way you would like to have them.

~ Luigi Pirandello

***

A woman springs a sudden reproach on you which provokes a hot retort - and then she will presently ask you to apologise.

~ Mark Twain

***

A woman's desire for revenge outlasts all her other emotions.

~ Cyril Connolly

***

For years they have been using the role of 'sex object' as a cover while they spied out the land.

~ Anatole Broyard

***

No woman ever hates a man for being in love with her; but many a woman hates a man for being her friend.

~ Alexander Pope

***

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.

~ H L Mencken

***

In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.

~ Stephen Leacock

***

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

~ George Eliot

***

I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

~ Gilda Radner

***

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

~ Fran Lebowitz

***

Women are of two sorts. Some of them are wiser, better learned, discreeter, and more constant than a number of men. But another and a worse sort of them...are fond, foolish, wanton, flibbergibs, tatlers, triflers, wavering, witless, without council, feeble, careless, rash, proud, dainty, nice, talebearers, eavesdroppers, rumor-raisers, evil-tongued, worse-minded, and in every way doltified with the dregs of the Devil's dunghill.

~ Bishop John Aylmer

***

Women are an alien race of pagans set down among us. Every seduction is a conversion.

~ John Updike

***

Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd/Nor hell a fury like a woman scorn'd.

~ William Congreve

***

If a woman hasn't got a tiny streak of a harlot in her, she's a dry stick as a rule.

~ D H Lawrence

***

The most interesting women characters in a picture are whores, and every man in love is a sex pervert at heart.

~ Billy Wilder

***

The chaste woman who teases is worse than a streetwalker.

~ James G Huneker

***

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic use of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.

~ Fran Lebowitz

***

Aren't women prudes if they don't and prostitutes if they do?

~ Kate Millett

***

I derive no pleasure from talking with a young woman simply because she has regular features.

~ Thoreau

***

I have but nothing to say to young girls. They're fine to look at, in the way I would look at a case filled with Shang dynasty glazes, but expecting to carry on a conversation with the average teen-aged young lady is akin to reading Voltaire to a cage filled with chimpanzees. I'm certain they would feel the same alienation for me. I can live with that knowledge.

~ Harlan Ellison

***

I have heard a well-built woman compared in her motion to a ship under sail, yet I would advise no wise man to be her owner if her freight be nothing but what she carries between wind and water.

~ Francis Osborne (advising his son not to marry a beautiful but poor woman)

***

I should favour anything that would increase the present enormous authority of women and their creative action in their own homes. The average woman...is a despot; the average man is a serf.

~ G K Chesterton

***

A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, except give up the desire to improve him.

~ Nathaniel Branden

***

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

~ Marlon Brando

***

The evidence indicates that woman is, on the whole, biologically superior to man.

~ Ashley Montagu

***

A beautiful woman who gives pleasure to men serves only to frighten the fish when she jumps in the water.

Kwang Tse

***

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

~ Rudyard Kipling

***

Women are like dogs really. They love like dogs, a little insistently. And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.

~ Mary Roberts Rinehart

***

The greater part of what women write about women is mere sycophancy to man.

~ Madame de Stael

***

As any psychologist will tell you, the worst thing you can possibly do to a woman is to deprive her of a grievance.

~ Beverly Nichols

***

There is something still more to be dreaded than a Jesuit and that is a Jesuitess.

~ Eugene Sue

***

A man admires a woman not for what she says, but for what she listens to.

~ George Jean Nathan

***

Woman serves as a looking glass possessing the magic powers of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.

~ Virginia Woolf

***

In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels.

~ Jane Austen

***

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.

~ Noel Coward

***

Intimacies between women often go backwards, beginning in revelations and ending in small talk without loss of esteem.

~ Elizabeth Bowen

***

It is hard, if not impossible, to snub a beautiful woman - they remain beautiful and the snub recoils.

~ Winston Churchill

***

Beautiful women must think about their beauty as capitalists think about their investments or politicians about their majorities; it is all they have to insure their places in the world.

~ Cyril Connolly

***

The last thing a woman will consent to discover in a man whom she loves, or on whom she simply depends, is want of courage.

~ Joseph Conrad

***

The woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who has failed to inspire sympathy in men.

~ Max Beerbohm

***

A woman will sometimes forgive the man who tries to seduce her, but never the man who misses an opportunity when offered.

~ Tallyerand

***

A woman can forgive a man the harm he does her; but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.

~ W Somerset Maugham

***

Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch.

~ Ian Fleming

***

I like clean ladies and nice ladies.

~ Lawrence Welk

***

Blondes have the hottest kisses. Red-heads are fair-to-middling torrid, and brunettes are the frigidest of all. It's something to do with hormones, no doubt.

~ Ronald Reagan

***

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

~ Irvin S Cobb

***

Women see through each other, but they rarely look into themselves.

~ Theodore Reik

***

It is strange how little sharpsightedness women possess; they only notice whether they please, then whether they arouse pity, and finally, whether you look for compassion from them. That is all; come to think of it, it may even be enough, generally speaking.

~ Frank Kafka

***

No woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

~ George Coote

***

There is little wife-swopping in suburbia. It is unnecessary, the females all being so similar.

~ Richard Gordon

***

If a man stays away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

~ Charles Darling

***

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

~ Milton Berle

***

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

~ P J O'Rourke

***

We throw the whole drudgery of creation on one sex, and then imply that no female of any delicacy would initiate any effort in that direction.

~ George Bernard Shaw

***

To babble is to make a feminine noise somewhat resembling the sound of a brook, but with less meaning.

~ Oliver Herford

***

Nothing so stirs a man's conscience or excites his curiosity as a woman's silence.

~ Thomas Hardy

***

We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.

~ Anatole France

***

A man running after a hat is not half so ridiculous as a man running after a woman.

~ G K Chesterton

***

A beautiful woman seductively dressed will never catch cold no matter how low-cut her gown.

~ Nietzsche

***

Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns.

~ Hermione Gingold

***

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

~ Elsa Schiaparelli

***

A witch and a bitch always dress up for each other, because otherwise the witch would upstage the bitch, or the bitch would upstage the witch, and the result would be havoc.

~ Tennessee Williams

***

Most women dress as if they had been a mouse in a previous reincarnation, or hope to be one in the next.

~ Edith Sitwell

***

In mixed company women practise a kind of visual shorthand that they later decode in detail in other women's company.

~ Malcolm de Chazal

***

Never try to outsmart a woman, unless you are another woman.

~ William Lyon Phelps

***

After a woman reaches fifty, she is usually called upon to deny her weight as well as her age.

~ Ed Howe

***

There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.

~ Orson Welles

***

I will not say that women have no character - they have a different one every day.

~ Heinrich Heine

***

The first duty of a woman is to be pretty, the second is to be well-groomed, and the third is never to contradict.

~ W Somerset Maugham

***

A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition.

~ G K Chesterton

***

There is always something a woman will prefer to the truth.

~ Samuel Johnson

***

Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.

~ H L Mencken

***

Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do.

~ Ellen Glasgow

***

All sensible men are of the same opinion about women, and no sensible man ever says what that opinion is.

~ Samuel Butler

***

The penalty for getting the woman you want is that you must keep her.

~ Lionel Strachey

***

There are no woman composers, never have been and possibly never will be.

~ Sir Thomas Beecham

***

There are not and never have been any great women poker players.

~ Heywood Broun

***

How womanly it is to ask the unanswerable at the moment impossible.

~ Christopher Morley

***

The man who asks a woman what she wants deserves all that's coming to him.

~ Alec Waugh

***

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on.

~ Kin Hubbard

***

A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.

~ Edgar Watson Howe

***

There are no social differences - till women come in.

~ H G Wells

***

Somewhere in the shadow cast by every famous man is a feminine victim.

~ Jules Renard

***

If I were a girl I'd despair; the supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

~ Robert Graves

***

Some women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting.

~ Ellen Glasgow

***

Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent mice.

~ H L Mencken

***

A woman may be as wicked as she likes, but if she isn't pretty it won't do her much good.

~ W Somerset Maugham

***

It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating.

~ Katherine Hepburn

**

To understand one woman is not necessarily to understand any other woman.

~ John Stuart Mill

***

For a man to pretend to understand women is bad manners; for him really to understand them is bad morals.

~ Henry James

***

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

~ H L Mencken

***

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.

~ Dorothy L Sayers

***

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

~ Dorothy Parker

***

Fifty percent of the world are women, yet they always seem a novelty.

~ Christopher Morley

***

It's the nature of women not to love when we love them, and to love when we love them not.

~ Cervantes

***

Misogynist: a man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

~ H L Mencken

***

Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.

H L Mencken

***

There is no sincerity like a woman telling a lie.

~ Cecil Parker (From 'Indiscreet' - screenplay by Norman Krasna)

***

Now what I love in women is, they won't/Or can't do otherwise than lie, but do it/So well, the very truth seems falsehood to it.

~ Lord Byron

***

A woman's place is in the wrong.

~ James Thurber

***

Women never reason, and therefore they are (comparatively) seldom wrong.

~ William Hazlitt

***

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

~ Ogden Nash

***

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

~ Aristotle Onassis

***

From birth to age eighteen a girl needs good parents, from eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks, from thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.

~ Sophie Tucker

***

Women are most fascinating between the age of thirty-five and forty after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

~ Christian Dior

***

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

~ Ed Howe

***

Those who run around with women don't walk tightropes. They find it hard enough to crawl on the ground.

~ Isaac Bashevis Singer

***

They're asking women to do impossible things. I don't believe women can carry a pack, live in a foxhole, or go a week without a bath.

~ General William Westmoreland

***

I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce.

~ Margaret Meade

***

God, why didn't you make Woman first - when you were fresh?

~ Yves Montaud (from 'On a Clear Day You Can See Forever', screenplay by Alan Jay Lerner)

***

There is no such thing as an altogether ugly woman - nor altogether beautiful.

~ Montaigne

***

Why must women torment me so?

~ Theodore Dreiser

***

The great trick with a woman is to get rid of her while she think's she's rid of you.

~ Søren Kierkegaard

***

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men.

~ Joseph Conrad

***

Women and people of low birth are very hard to deal with. If you are friendly with them, they get out of hand, and if you keep your distance, they resent it.

~ Confucius

***

She is unable to dream, think or love. In a woman, poetry never comes naturally, but always as the result of education. Only the woman of the world is a woman; the rest are simply females.

~ Edmond and Jules Goncourt

***

KISSING

Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

~ Jonathan Swift

***

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

~ Helen Rowland

***

The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.

~ H L Mencken

***

Oh, what lies there are in kisses.

~ Heinrich Heine

***

Two people kissing always look like fish.

~ Andy Warhol

***

I'd love to kiss you, but I've just washed my hair.

~ Bette Davis (From 'Cabin in the Cotton' - screenplay by Paul Green)

***

Kissing don't last; cooking do!

~ George Meredith

***

In love there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

~ French Proverb

***

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

~ Groucho Marx

***

A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for 'bliss'.

~ Ambrose Bierce

***

Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night.

~ Andy Warhol

***

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.  

~ Albert Einstein

***

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.  

~ Ingrid Bergman

***

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.  That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.  

~ Mistinguett (Jeanne Bourgeois), Theatre Arts, December 1955

***

Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?  

~ Henry Finck

***

A kiss, when all is said, what is it?
A rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving;
'Tis a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear.

~ Edmond Rostand

***

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.  

~ Rene Yasenek

***

How did it happen that their lips came together?  How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill?  A kiss, and all was said.  

~ Victor Hugo

***

Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.  

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley, Prometheus Unbound

***

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.  

~ Clare Whiting

***

I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies' hands - after all, one must start somewhere.  

~ Sacha Guitry

***

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.  I haven't had time for tobacco since.  

~ Arturo Toscanini

***

Give me a kisse, and to that kisse a score;
Then to that twenty, adde a hundred more;
A thousand to that hundred; so kisse on,
To make that thousand up a million;
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let's kisse afresh, as when we first begun.

~ Robert Herrick, "To Anthea (III)"

***

In trying to get our own way, we should remember that kisses are sweeter than whine. 

 ~ Unknown

***

Stolen kisses require an accomplice.  

~ Just One Fool Thing After Another: A Cowfolks' Guide to Romance

***

kisses are a better fate
than wisdom.
~ e.e. cummings

***

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.  

~ Helen Rowland

***

Love's first snow-drop, virgin kiss.  

~ Robert Burns

***

'Twas not my lips you kissed
But my soul

~ Judy Garland

***

What of soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop?  

~ Robert Browning, A Toccata of Galuppi's

***

Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole soul thro'
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.

~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

***

People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.  

~ Bob Hope

***

A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.  

~ Proverb

***

A kiss is just a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.  

~ Unknown

***

Were kisses all the joys in bed,
One woman would another wed.

~ William Shakespeare, Sonnets to Sundry Notes of Music, IV

***

What lies lurk in kisses.  

~ Heinrich Heine

***

The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze. 

 ~ Gustavo Adolfo Becquer

***

"May I print a kiss on your lips?" I said,
And she nodded her full permission:
So we went to press and I rather guess
We printed a full edition.

~ Joseph Lilientha

***

[T]hen I did the simplest thing in the world.  I leaned down... and kissed him.  And the world cracked open.  

~ Agnes de Mille

***

Kissing is like drinking salted water.  You drink, and your thirst increases.  

~ Chinese Proverb

***

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea: -
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love's Philosophy

***

Her kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her.  

~ Unknown

***

I ran up the door, opened the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers - turned off my bed, tumbled into my light, and all because he kissed me good-night!  

~ Unknown

***

Never a lip is curved with pain
That can't be kissed into smile again.

~ Brete Harte

***

A kiss is the upper persuasion for a lower invasion. 

~ Unknown

***

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.  

~ Joe Houldsworth

***

Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted.

~ Edmund Vance Cooke

***

Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back.  

~ Unknown

***

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.  

~ Rupert Brooke

***

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.  

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table

***

Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.

~ Dorothy Parker

***

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels.  

~ Unknown

***

Leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.

~ Ben Jonson, To Celia

***

It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.  

~ Ladies Home Journal, 1948

***

Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words.  

~ Margaret Mitchell

***

Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in.
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me;
Say I'm growing old, but add Jenny kissed me.

~ Leigh Hunt, Jenny Kissed Me

***

A man's kiss is his signature.  

~ Mae West

***

Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made
For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.

~ William Shakespeare

***


I married the first man I ever kissed.  When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.  

~ Barbara Bush

***

A man had given all other bliss,
And all his worldly worth for this,
To waste his whole heart in one kiss
Upon her perfect lips.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

***

Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath.  

~ Eve Glicksman

***

WHAT WOMEN WANT?

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is: What does woman want?

~ Sigmund Freud

***

What this woman wants, with all due respect to S Freud, is for men to stop asking that question and to realize that women are human beings, not some alien species. They want the same things men want.

~ Diane White

***

Different things, mostly. What's more, they are kind enough to tell you.

~ Norman Cousins

***

Tenderness, sensitivity, caring and security.

~ Liz Smith

***

I haven't the slightest idea.

~ Tad Szulc

***

Attention.

~ Ian Shoales

***

Implicit obedience.

~ Horace Walpole

***

Men.

~ Malcolm Forbes

***

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort , independence, freedom, respect, love and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

~ Phyllis Diller

***

Women want a family life that glitters and is stable. They don't want some lump spouse watching ice hockey in the late hours of his eighteenth beer. They want a family that is so much fun and is so smart that they look forward to Thanksgiving rather than regarding it with a shudder. That's the glitter part. The stable part is, obviously, they don't want to be one bead on a long necklace of wives. They want, just like men, fun, love, fame, money and power. And equal pay for equal work.

~ Carolyn See

***

Money, power, love, sex (until they get married), adulation, children, and control. Of these, children cause the most trouble. Women also want equal rights and equal pay for equal work, and I agree with them 100%. Though on some days it is hard to figure out how a species that controls 97% of the money and all the pussy can be downtrodden.

~ Larry L King

***

The seemingly impossible: that men treat them with the respect and fairmindedness with which they treat most men.

~ Joyce Carol Oates

***

Charge Cards.

W P Kinsella

***

Exactly what men want: love, money, excitement, pleasure, happiness, fulfilling work - and sometimes a child who will say, "I love you."

~ Joyce Brothers

***

What do women want? God, this is awful hard. Various women of course want various things. I think what they really want underneath everything is self-respect. Self-respect. It's a lot easier in our world for a man to achieve self-respect than for a woman. A thing my wife and I are fond of kicking around as a joke is, "I'm just a housewife." You might hear this at a middle-class dinner table when talking about a serious subject. You turn to a woman and you say, "What do you think about it?" and she says, "Oh, I'm just a housewife?" No man would say that. No man would say, "I'm just an accountant." He'd have an opinion and he'd utter it. It's harder for a woman to gain self-respect than for a man, and I think this is really what they want more than anything else, and I think that's what the women's movement is largely about.

~ Paul Fussell

***

Like everything else, it depends on the individual. It's a subdivision of what people want. They want to be themselves, they want to reach their own potential. Some of them want men, some of them want women, some of them want neither, some of them want a pet turtle. The bottom line is self-expression.

~ Paul Krassner

***

Freedom from pain, security, creature comforts, and an end to loneliness. When you get down to the basics, it's still the same old story, a fight for love and glory..

~ Alice Kahn

***

Women are wonderful and complete and the source of beauty and creativity and love. But they are brought up to believe they are inadequate and insufficient and that to be complete and fulfilled they need a man. This erroneous notion leads them to seek fulfillment outside themselves, which in turn reinforces their belief in their inadequacy and keeps them in a vicious circle of continually seeking answers outside themselves rather than in discovering at their core that they are already fine and magnificent and complete and that if they lived from their centers all would work out and they could again become the source of creation in the world.

~ Ari Kiev

***

Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire/brain surgeon/criminal lawyer/great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease.

~ Linda Sunshine

***

What do women want? A guy they can't drive crazy. There aren't many around. But they try. They can't help it, it's their nature.

~ Orson Bean

***

None of your business.

~ Ursula Le Guin

***

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Where young boys plan for what they will achieve and attain, young girls plan for whom they will achieve and attain.

~ Charlotte Perkins Gilman

***

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

~ George Jean Nathan

***

Strange difference of sex, that time and circumstance, which enlarge the views of most men, narrow the views of women invariably.

~ Thomas Hardy

***

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

~ Jean Kerr

***

Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler.

~ Jimmy Cannon

***

Men marry because they are tired; women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.

~Rudyard Kipling

***

It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep married as long as he can.

~ George Bernard Shaw

***

A woman's head is always influenced by her heart, but a man's heart is always influenced by his head.

~ Countess of Blessington

***

No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.

~ James Thurber

***

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

A tranquil woman can go on sewing longer than an angry man can go on fuming.

~ George Bernard Shaw

***

To women, love is an occupation; to men, a preoccupation.

~ Lionel Stachey

***

Woman understands children better than man does, but man is more childlike than woman.

~ Nietzsche

***

Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.

H L Mencken

***

Men are more interesting than women, but women ae more fascinating.

~ James Thurber

***

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's.

~ George Bernard Shaw

***

Man's objection to love is that it dies hard; woman's, that when it is dead, it stays dead.

~ H L Mencken

***

There are two sides to the story when men quarrel, but at least a dozen when women quarrel.

~ Ed Howe

***

God is for men, and religion for women.

~ Joseph Conrad

***

Women become attached to men by the intimacies they grant them; men are cured of their love by the same intimacies.

~ La Bruyere

***

When he will, she won't; and when he won't, she will.

~ Terence

***

In love women are professionals, men are amateurs.

~ Francois Truffaut

***

Women prefer to talk in two's, while men prefer to talk in three's.

~ G K Chesterton

***

A man keeps another person's secret better than his own, a woman keeps her own better than another's.

~ La Bruyere

***

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

~ Will Rogers

***

The man's desire is for the woman; the woman's desire is for the desire of the man.

~ Coleridge

***

Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things - like putting a quarter in a vending machine.

~ Alex Comfort

***

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.

~ Hermione Gingold

***

Love is the whole history of a woman's life, but it is an episode in man's.

~ Madame de Stael

***

A man says what he knows, a woman says what will please.

~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

***

Men are brought up to command, women to seduce.

~ Saly Kempton

***

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

~ Lana Turner

***

When man and woman die, as poets sung,/ His heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue.

~ Benjamin Franklin

***

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

The average woman is at the head of something with which she can do as she likes; the average man has to obey orders and do nothing else.

~ G K Chesterton

***

What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.

~ Susan Sontag

***

The wholly manly man lacks the wit necessary to give objective form to his soaring and secret dreams, and the wholly womanly woman is apt to be too cynical a creature to dream at all.

~ H L Mencken

***

The happiness of man is: I will. The happiness of woman is: he wills.

~ Nietzsche

***

In our civilization, men are afraid that they will not be men enough and women are afraid that they might be considered only women.

~ Theodor Reik

***

The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a clever woman to manage a fool.

~ Rudyard Kipling

***

You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

~ Erica Jong

***

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.

~ Elayne Boosler

***

Girls got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all.

~ Joan Jett

***

What women look for in a man: Breathing, IQ over 80, weight under 550 pounds, fewer than six ex-wives. What men look for in a woman: Pia Zadora as she was ten years ago.

~ C E Crimmins

***

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

~ H L Mencken

***

As vivacity is the gift of women, gravity is that of men.

~ Joseph Addison

***

Women eat while they are talking; men talk like they are eating.

~Malcolm de Chazal

***

Most women have all other women as adversaries; most men have all other men as their allies.

~ Gelett Burgess

***

Men live by forgetting - women live on memories.

~ T S Eliot

***

Women have a less accurate measure of time than men; there is a clock in Adam, none in Eve.

~ Emerson

***

Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise about men.

~ Theodore Reik

***

Men at most differ as heaven and earth,/But women, worst and best, as heaven and hell.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

***

Men play the game; women know the score.

~ Roger Woddis

***

Women are quite unlike men. Women have higher voices, longer hair, smaller waistlines, daintier feet and prettier hands. They also invariably have the upper hand.

~ Stephen Potter

***

The word love has by no means the same sense for both sexes, and this is one cause of the serious misunderstandings that divide them.

~ Simone de Beauvoir

***

It is a mistake for a taciturn, serious-minded woman to marry a jovial man, but not for a serious-minded man to marry a light-hearted woman.

~ Goethe

***

Woman wants monogamy;/Man delights in novelty.

Love is a woman's moon and sun;/Man has other forms of fun.

Woman lives but in her lord;/Count to ten and man is bored.

~ Dorothy Parker

***

In a husband there is only a man; in a married woman there is a man, a father, a mother, and a woman.

~ Balzac

***

A woman's a woman till the day she dies, but a man's a man only as long as he can.

~ Moms Mabley

***

Women are smarter than men because they listen.

~ Phil Donahue

***

Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

~ Ian Shoales

***

Male and female are really two cultures and their life experiences are utterly different.

~ Kate Millett

***

Throughout history, females have picked providers for males. Males pick anything.

~ Margaret Meade

***

It is probable that both in life and in art the values of a woman are not the values of a man.

~ Virginia Woolf

***

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

~ Oscar Wilde

***

Woman's dearest delight is to wound man's self-conceit, though man's dearest delight is to gratify hers.

~ Bernard Shaw

***

A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman need only be available.

~ William H Masters and Virginia E Johnson

***

Man seems not so much wicked as frail, unable to face pain, trouble and growing old. A good woman knows that nature is her enemy. Look at what it does to her.

~ Fay Weldon

***

The ability to have our own way, and at the same time convince others they are having their own way, is a rare thing among men. Among women it is as common as eyebrows.

~ Thomas Bailey Aldrich

***

Words are women, deeds are men.

~ George Herbert

***

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares.

~ Elbert Hubbard

***

..and WIVES

 

A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

~ George Jean Nathan

***

I am too much interested in other's men's wives to think of getting one of my own.

~ George Moore

***

Everybody all over the world takes a wife's estimate into account in forming an opinion of a man.

~ Balzac

***

He knows little who tells his wife all he knows.

~ Thomas Fuller

***

A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him.

~ J B Priestley

***

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire).

~ Benjamin Franklin

***

She has buried all her female friends; I wish she would make friends with my wife.

~ Martial

***

Since all the maids are good and lovable, from whence come the bad wives?

~ Charles Lamb

***

My wife's idea of roughing it is staying at a Holiday Inn with single-ply toilet paper.

~ Abby Dan

***

The man who enters his wife's dressing room is either a philosopher or a fool.

~ Balzac

***

The woman who cannot tell a lie in defense of her husband, is unworthy of the name of wife.

~ Elbert Hubbard

***

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

~ Benjamin Franklin

***

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

~ Groucho Marx

***

A good wife is good, but the best wife is not so good as no wife at all.

~ Thomas Hardy

***

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

~ Emerson

***

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to remain just as charming as if she weren't.

~ Sacha Guitry

***

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.

~ Walter Bagehot

***

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.

~ Lee Trevino

***

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

~ Baudelaire

***

Each [of my wives] was jealous and resentful of my preoccupation with business. Yet none showed any visible aversion to sharing in the proceeds.

~ J Paul Getty

***

There is no fury like an ex-wife searching for a new lover.

~ Cyril Connolly

***

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

~ James Thurber

***

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife.

~ Ella T Grasso

***

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

~ Woody Allen

***

The trouble with my wife is that she is a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed.

~ Geoffrey Gorer

***

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Women have been a ghastly nuisance in my life.

***

All young men greatly exaggerate the difference between one young woman and another.

***

Woman reduces us all to a common denominator.

***

It is assumed that the woman must wait, motionless, until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for the fly.

***

You sometimes have to answer a woman according to her womanliness, just as you have to answer a fool according to his folly.

***

Changeable women are more endurable that monotonous ones; they are sometimes murdered but never deserted.

***

I learned more from the first stupid woman who fell in love with me than ever my brains taught me.

***

The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

***

Female murderers get sheaves of offers of marriage.

***

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

***

The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women.

***

A man has no business to marry a woman who can't make him miserable. It means she can't make him happy.

***

/12princesses.html
 
/actor.html
  /alcohol.html
  /anger.html
  /animalmagic.html
  /anon.html
  /argument.html
  /art.html
  /baby.html
 
/beryl.html
  /bikes.html
  /blog.html
  /bluebells.html
  /book.html
  /bored_games.html
  /c.duggan-smith.html
 
/canada.html
  /careful.html
  /cat.html
  /categories_magazine.html
  /categories_quotation.html
  /categories_trivia.html
  /catsanddogs.html
  /child_verse.html
  /children.html
  /christmas.html
  /circus.html
  /cliche.html
  /commonsense.html
  /computer.html
  /contempt.html
  /country_western.html
  /crossingbridges.html
  /death.html
  /definitions.html
  /delhi_date.html
  /diary.dogandcat.html
  /didyouknow.html
  /directory.html
  /divorce.html
  /dog.html
  /dreaming.html
  /eating_out.html
 
/elementary.html
  /elevator.html
  /england_spring.html
 
/english.html
 /fluff.html
 /foramy.html
 
/fun_driving.html
  /fun_things.html
  /girls_girls_girls.html
 
/hand&happy.html
  /hola.html
 
 /housework.html
  /idiotslist.html
  /index.htm
  /insanity.html

 
/kenya.html
  /kos.html
  /ladder.html
 
/language.html
 
/life_classes.html
  /love.html
  /luck.html
 
/lullaby.html
  /makebelieve.html
  /malefemale.html
 
/manners.html
  /marriage.html
 
/mask.html
  /mela.html
  /memories.html
 
/memories_grandmother.html
  /memories_mother.html
  /men.html
  /miss_anon.html
  /movies.html
  /music.html
  /newsgroups.html
  /nonsense.html
 
/nonsense2.html
  /pc.html
  /photoquote.html
  /playground_rhymes.html
  /poem4today.html
  /poems.html
  /poems2.html
  /poems3.html
  /poetry.html
  /prairie.html
  /pussy_willow.html
  /queen_mother.html
 
/quinn.htm
  /quiz.html
  /quotations_a2z.htm
  /quoteindex.htm
  /quoteindex.html
  /resumes.html
  /self_analysis.html
  /shipahoy.html
  /smoking.html
  /spa_town.html
  /story.html
  /superstitions.html
  /superstitions_cornish.html
  /techsupport.html
  /teddygrant.html
  /threads.html
  /three_wise_men.html
  /titles.html
  /tod.html
  /travel.html
  /tree_requiem.html
  /urbanmyth.html
  /valentine.html
  /vienna.html
  /wallpaper.html
  /wanted.html
  /watson.html
 
/whimsy.htm

  /wild_swans.html
   /words4today.html
  /words4today2.html
 
/writingrules.html

Search Engine for Whimsy pages

winniecaw@hotmail.com Top

This web site is hosted on the servers of The Folk Corporation and funded from sales at http://www.folkshop.net and