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TWO BALL (or juggling) RHYMES

I asked my mother for fifty cents
to see the elephant jump the fence;
he jumped so HIGH he reached the SKY
and never came down 'till the 4th of July.


Over the garden wall I let my baby sister fall.
My mother came out, she gave me a clout;
I asked her what all the fuss was about.
She gave me another to match the other.
Over the garden wall.


A sailor went to sea, sea, sea.
To see what he could see, see, see.
But all that he could see, see, see.
Was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea.


Gypsy, Gypsy Rosalyn, washed her hair with turpentine;
Turpentine to make it shine.
Gypsy, Gypsy Rosalyn.


<let's call it> 'DUO CLAPPING'

This is a game which I never got to grips with; being a covert left-hander. Stand facing each other about a foot apart and say the rhyme whilst doing the actions
Clap = Clap your hands
Right = Clap partner's right hand
Left = Clap partner's left hand
Knees = Slap your knees
Together = Clap your partner's hands

Have you<Clap> ever<Right>, ever<Clap>, ever,<Left
in your<
Clap> long<Knees> legged<Clap> life<Together>
met a <
Clap>long<Right> legged<Clap> sailor<Left
with a<
Clap> long<Knees> legged<Clap> wife?<Together>
No, I <
Clap>never<Right>, never<Clap>, never, <Left>
in my<
Clap> long<Knees> legged<Clap> life<Together>
met a <
Clap>long<Right> legged<Clap> sailor<Left
with a<
Clap> long<Knees> legged<Clap> wife<Together>

(now do it faster)

Have you ever, ever, ever, in your short legged life....

....knock kneed life...
....pigeon toed life...
....bow legged life...



All in together girls,
Never mind the weather girls;
when I call your birthday, please jump in:
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.


Touch the ground
Turn right round
Go upstairs
Say your prayers
Switch off the light
And say goodnight!


Sausage in a pan,
Sausage in a pan,
Turn 'em 'over, turn 'em 'over,
Sausage in a pan.


Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around,
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, touch the ground
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, show your shoe
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, that will do!

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, go upstairs
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say your prayers
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn out the lights
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say good-night!


Wash the dishes
Dry the dishes
Turn the dishes over


Susie and Billy sitting in a tree
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes the baby in a baby carriage


Miss Lucy had a baby 
She named it Tiny Tim 
She put it in the bathtub 
To see if it could swim 
It drank up all the water 
It ate up all the soap 
It tried to eat the bathtub 
But it wouldn't go down its throat 
Miss Lucy called the doctor 
Miss Lucy called the nurse 
Miss Lucy called the lady 
With the alligator purse 
Measles said the doctor 
Mumps said the nurse 
Nothing said the lady 
With the alligator purse 
Miss Lucy kicked the doctor 
Miss Lucy punched the nurse 
Miss Lucy paid the lady 
With the alligator purse


...the rude version:

Lucy had a baby
She called it Sonny Jim
She took it to the swimming baths
To see if it could swim
It swam to the bottom
It swam to the top
It swam round and round
So she pulled it by its
Cocktail shandy
Four pence a glass
If you don't like it
Shove it up your
Ask no questions tell no lies
Ever seen a copper doing up his
Flies are a nuisance
Bugs are worse
That's the end of my silly verse

...and the politically correct version:

I had a little puppy
His name was Tiny Tim
I put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim
He drank all the water, he ate a bar of soap
The next thing you know he had a bubble in his throat.
In came the doctor, 
In came the nurse, 
In came the lady with the alligator purse 
Out went the doctor 
Out went the nurse 
Out went the lady with the alligator purse 


Down in the valley where the green grass grows,
There sat <
jumper> pretty as a rose.
Up came <
a boy in the class, particularly one the jumper likes> and kissed
her on the cheek,
How many kisses did she get this week?
Count until she messes up.


Down by the river, down by the sea,
Johnny broke a bottle and blamed it on me.
I told ma, ma told pa,
Johnny got a spanking so ha ha ha.

How many spankings did Johnny get?
1, 2, 3....


I went down town, to see Miss Brown 
she gave me a nickel, to buy a pickle
The pickle was sour so she gave me a flower
The flower was black so she gave me a smack

The smack was hard so she gave me a card
And on the card it said: 

Little Spanish dancer turn around (turn while jumping)
Little Spanish dancer, touch the ground
(touch ground) 

Little Spanish dancer tie your shoe (jump on one leg, pretend to tie shoe)

 Little Spanish dancer, sixty four skidoo (jump/exit rope area)


H - E - L - P One jump for each letter. The ropes spin faster and faster until the jumper misses on a letter. Then, s/he must do whatever is required at that letter.

H = Highwaters (rope doesn't touch the ground)

E = Eyes closed or Easy over (rope goes over slower than usual)

L = Leapfrog (jump like a frog/crouch down, then jump high)

P = Peppers (rope twirls quickly)


Bluebells cockleshells easy ivy over


Miss Suzie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell

Miss Suzie went to heaven
The steamboat went to...
Hello operator, please give me number 9
If you disconnect me
I'll kick your fat...
Behind the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Suzie sat upon it
And cut her little...
Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their...
Flies are in the forest
Bees are in the park
Boys and girls like kissing in the...
Dark is like a movie
a movie's like a show
a show is like a TV screen and that is all
I know I know my ma
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister with the 80 acre alligator bra.

...alternatively, from 'ask me no more questions':

Ask me no more questions

tell me no more lies

Miss Susie told me everything the day before she...

Died her hair purple,

died her hair pink,

died her hair in polka-dots

and washed it down the...

Sink me in the ocean,

Sink me in the sea,

Sink me in/down the toilet,

But please don't pee on me!


Not last night, but the night before

24 Robbers came knocking at my door

As I ran out (Run out of the jump rope)

They ran in (Run back in the jump rope and start jumping again)

I asked them what they wanted and this is what they said:

Spanish dancer turn around (turn ˝ turn each time you jump)

Spanish dancer touch the ground (touch ground once when you are jumping)

Spanish dancer give a high kick (kick in the air once)

Spanish dancer get out before you miss (get out of the jump rope If you stay in, someone yells "Hot Potatoes" and then the ones holding the rope start turning the rope real fast and someone counts to see how many "hot potatoes" you do)



When Susie was a baby, a baby Susie was she went a cry, cry, cry, cry (rubs eyes) 
When Susie was a toddler, a toddler Susie was she went a scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble
(scribbling action) 
When Susie was a child, a child Susie was she went a 'whyyyyyy? whyyyyyy? whyyyyy? whyyyy?'
When Susie was a teenager, a teenager Susie was she went a 'ooh, ahh, I lost my bra, I left my knickers in me boyfriend's car'
(waving hands) 
When Susie was a married, a married Susie was she went a 'aahh, unnnnggggghh, aaaahhhhh, unnnnnngggggh' 
When Susie was a mother, a mother Susie was she went a bake, bake, bake, bake
(rolling pin action) 
When Susie was a grandma, a grandma Susie was she went a knit, knit, knit, knit
(knitting action) 
When Susie was a skeleton a skeleton Susie was she went a



Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put the schoolbooks in the middle
And burn the blooming lot


Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher
We have broken every rule
We have marched down to the principal
To tell him he's a fool
The school is burning down


My friend Billy had a ten foot willy
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake,
And now it's only two foot four.


We three kings of orient are
One on a motorbike
One in a car
One on a scooter
Tooting his hooter
Following yonder star
Oh, star of wonder
Star of light
Sit on a box of dynamite
Light the fuse and off we go
Around the world
To Mexico


We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies underwear
How fantastic
No elastic
Only a penny a pair

A couple of games we would play in the road:
Queenie Eye
One person would stand with their back to everyone in the middle of the road and throw a tennis type ball over their shoulder. One of the group would pick the ball up and everyone would put their hands behind their backs. One of the
group would be hiding the ball in their hands behind their back. The group would chant, 'Queenie eye, Queenie eye, who's got the ball? Is she fat or is she tall? Does she wear a safety pin beneath her petticoat?' The aim of the game was for the person to guess who had the ball. They would all, or individuals,  show their right or left hand, or both, or turn around. The tennis ball would be hidden in the hand. Sometimes we would cheat and hide it up our skirts. 
Second game

Someone would stand in the road and they were 'It'. The group would chant 'Please Jack, may we cross the golden water, to see your ugly daughter, just like you?' They would reply, 'Not unless you're wearing [a colour]. If you had that colour on you could safely run across the road. If not you had to run across the road and the person who was 'It' would try to
catch you. If you were caught you would be the person to be 'It'.

With thanks to Anne Clarke

(more to follow? - please send me yours)

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