What's Good about being a Bloke  winnie caw 2002
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1. Your last name stays put.

2. The world is your urinal.

3. The garage is all yours.

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

5. You can be president.

6. You can wear a white Tee shirt to a water park.

7. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

8. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

9. Same work... more pay.

10. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

11. Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

12. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

13. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

14. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

15. You know stuff about tanks.

16. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

17. You can open all your own jars.

18. You can kill your own food.

19. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

20. Your underwear is 3.95 for a three-pack.

21. Everything on your face stays its original color.

22.You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

23. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

24.You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking:  "He must be mad at me."

25.You don't mooch off other's desserts.

26.You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

27.You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

28.You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

29.You almost never have strap problems in public.

30. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

31. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

32.You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

and there's more....

34. Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.

35.Your orgasms are real. Always.

36. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

37. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

38. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

39. Wrinkles add character.

40. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.

41. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

42. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

43. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

44. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.

45. One mood, ALL the damn time.

46. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

47. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

48. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

49. You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming.

50. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

51. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

52. You don't have to shave below your neck.

53. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

54. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.


As a woman:
1) All doors are opened and everyone lets you pass.
2) You can walk into any meeting without appointment.
3) You don't wait in lines.
4) You don't have to wear 3 colors all your life.
5) You don't have to have one hair do all your life.
6) You don't wait for anyone, they always wait for you.
7) You can have shoes of different heights.
8) Your sensitivities always have to be protected.
9) The bedroom is yours.
10) The living and dining rooms are yours.
11) You decide everything in weddings.
12) You decide the color of everything at home.
13) People change tires for you.
14) People carry your shopping for you.
15) In a restaurant, someone always goes to the toilet with you.
16) You can lift your face, many times.
17) You can add or remove things to your body and you will be complimented.
18) If you say: "I love my mother" no one thinks it sissy.
19) If you say: "I love my father" no one thinks you have homosexual tendencies.
20) You can kiss and hug within your gender.
21) In a Shopping Mall, you have a 10 to 1 advantage in the number of shops you can visit.
22) You get 10 to 1 advantage in weekends visiting your parents.
23) You can sit in the lap of the boss and get promoted.
24) You can take people to court when they give you a sexual compliment.
25) You can sit in the front seat in class and get better grades.
26) No matter how ugly you are, there will be someone to admire your body.
27) All the great pharmaceutical companies in the world spend money to make you stay beautiful.
28) No one will notice if you are sexually aroused.
29) You don't get introduced second.
30) When you cause driving accidents, no one beats you up.




winniecaw@hotmail.com Top