DOG QUOTATIONS ©winnie caw 2002
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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

~ Dave Barry

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"If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!"

~ ASPCA

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I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too.

~ L. Frank Baum (Margaret Hamilton in "Wizard of Oz")

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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

~ Robert Benchley

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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another.

~ Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

~ Josh Billings

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Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

~ Josh Billings

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Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.

~ Smiley Blanton

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There to this dog will I,
Tenderly not scornfully,
Render praise and favor.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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Near this spot
Are deposited the remains of one
Who possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Indolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
And all the virtues of Man, without his vices.
This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery
If inscribed over human ashes,
Is but a just tribute to the memory of
Boatswain, a Dog.

~ Lord Byron, Inscription on the tomb of his Newfoundland dog, 1808

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It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
~ William Camden (1605)

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Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

~ Roger Caras

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It is naught good a sleeping hound to wake.
~ Chaucer

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One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him.

~ Chinese Proverb

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The nose of a bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
~ Winston Churchill

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Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
~ Colette

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I don't eat anything that a dog won't eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, "I don't think so." And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.
~ Billiam Coronel

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Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.
~ Noel Coward

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If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
~ Cowboy wisdom

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The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
~ Leonardo da Vinci

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Every dog has his day.
~ Miguel de Cervantes

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I got a dog and named him `Stay'. Now, I go `Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
~ Deep Thoughts (Jack Handy)

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Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting.
~ Dr. Ian Dunbar

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Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
~ Max Eastman

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What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

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I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.
~ George Bird Evans (From"Troubles with Bird Dogs")

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The dog is a religious animal. In his savage state he worships the moon and the lights that float upon the waters. These are his gods to whom he appeals at nightwith long-drawn howls.
~ Anatole France (From "The Coming of Riquet")

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He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
~ Benjamin Franklin

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Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations.
~ Sigmund Freud

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Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard

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A dog is a dog except when he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog.
~ Haitian Farmer

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The dog barks backward without getting up/I can remember when he was a pup.
~ Robert Frost

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Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.

~Joe Gores

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My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am.
~ Toby & Eileen Green

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Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
~ Christopher Hampton

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Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

~ Jack Handy

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I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
~ Jack Handy

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Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies.
~Gene Hill

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Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart.
~ Dorothy Hinshaw Patent (from "Dogs: The Wolf Within")

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I was desperate. The swine who stole my dog doesn't realize what he did to me!
~ Hitler, 1917, After a railroad worker in Alsace stole his terrier

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In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
~ Edward Hoagland

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A dog is not almost-human, and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.
~ John Holmes

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A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
~ Sherlock Holmes

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You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother.
~ Rick Horowitz, Chicago Tribune

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He has affection and character, he can enjoy equally the field and the fireside ... a good fellow.
~ Leigh Hunt

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To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
~ Aldous Huxley

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My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing.
~ Lonzo Idolswine

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A barking dog is more useful than a sleeping lion.
~ Washington Irving

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Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
~ Holbrook Jackson

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They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
~ Jerome K. Jerome

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I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.
~ Samuel Johnson

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Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
~ Franklin P. Jones

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Who kicks a dog kicks his own soul towards hell.
~ Will Judy

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I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'
~ Fred Jungclaus

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When all the world is young, lad,
And all the trees are green;
And every goose is a swan, lad,
And every lass a queen;
Then hey, for boot and horse, lad,
And round the world away;
Young blood must have its course, lad,
And every dog its day.
~ Charles Kingsley "Water Babies"

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When the Man waked up he said,
'What is Wild Dog doing here?'
And the Woman said,
'His name is not Wild Dog any more,
but the First Friend,
because he will be our friend
for always and always and always.'

~ Rudyard Kipling

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Politics are not my concern... they impressed me as a dog's life without a dog's decencies.
~ Rudyard Kipling

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To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account should we take him as an example? He is loyal to men, not to other dogs.
~ Karl Kraus

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Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring- it was peace.
~ Milan Kundera

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...Pomeranians speak only to Poodles and Poodles speak only to God."
~ Charles Kuralt on "48 Hours"

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Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
~ Ann Landers

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Beware of a silent dog and still water.
~ Latin Proverb

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater...suggest that he wear a tail.
~ Fran Lebowitz

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If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
~ Jay Leno

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A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
~ Jack London

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There is no faith which has never yet been broken except that of a truly faithful dog.
~ Konrad Lorenz

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Barking dogs may occasionally bite, but laughing men hardly ever shoot.
~ Konrad Lorenz

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What kind of life a dog . . . acquires. I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete; one sees little but legs.

~ E.V. Lucas

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Pet a dog where he can't scratch and he'll always be your friend.
~ Orville Mars

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In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man.
~ Maurice Maeterlinck (From 'Our Friend, The Dog' )

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Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
~ Groucho Marx

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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!
~ Groucho Marx

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The biggest dog has been a pup.
~ Joaquin Miller

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No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does.
~ Christopher Morley

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The dog is man's best friend.
He has a tail on one end.
Up in front he has teeth.
And four legs underneath.
~ Ogden Nash (From 'An Introduction to Dogs')

 

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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
~ Ogden Nash

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Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways.

Ogden Nash Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.
~ Carlotta O'Neill

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Thus every dog at last will have his day -
He who this morning smiled, at night may sorrow;
The grub today's a butterfly tomorrow.
~ Peter Pindar

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The disposition of noble dogs is to be gentle with people they know and the opposite with those they don't know...How, then, can the dog be anything other than a lover of learning since it defines what's its own and what's alien.

~ Plato

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The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
~ Polish Proverb

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Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.
~ Agnes Repplier

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If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies.And then I'd put a bandage on its foot... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it.
~ Normal Rockwell

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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
~ Will Rogers

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No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.
~ Will Rogers

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The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.
~ Jeanne-Marie Roland

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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.
~ Andy Rooney

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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
~ Andy Rooney

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Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.
~ Leo Rosten

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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
~ Rita Rudner

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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.
~ Rita Rudner

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No matter how little money and how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich.
~ Louis Sabin

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I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.
~ Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles Group

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Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit.
~ Sir Walter Scott (From 'The Talisman')

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If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.
~ George Bernard Shaw

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My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!
~ Craig Shoemaker

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That indefatigable and unsavory engine of pollution, the dog.
~ John Sparrow

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I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
~ John Steinbeck

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You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

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I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
~ Hippolyte Taine

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Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
~ Elizabeth Taylor

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Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger.
~ Albert Payson Terhune (From 'The Coming of Lad')

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It often happens that a man is more humanly related to a cat or a dog than to any human being.
~ Henry David Thoreau

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When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
~ Henry David Thoreau

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The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged a dog down to his.
~ James Thurber

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If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
~ James Thurber

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The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.
~ James Thurber

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America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags it's tail it knocks over a chair.
~ Arnold Toynbee

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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
~ Harry S Truman

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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.
~ Mark Twain

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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
~ Mark Twain

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Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
~ Mark Twain

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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
~ Mark Twain

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Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.
~ Welsh Proverb

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A reasonable amount of fleas is good for a dog; it keeps him from brooding over being a dog.
~ E. N. Westcott

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My little old dog: / A heart-beat at my feet.
- Edith Wharton

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A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along.
~ E.B. White (From 'The Care and Training of a Dog ')

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Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well.
~ Bonnie Wilcox (From 'Old Dogs, Old Friends')

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There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
~ Ben Williams

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If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
~ Woodrow Wilson

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I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."
~ Steven Wright

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
~ Steven Wright

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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
~ Steven Wright

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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

~ Unknown

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A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away.

~ Unknown

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When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?

~ Unknown

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Recipe; a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

~ Unknown

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Absolutely nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.

~ Unknown

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The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

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The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you but he will make a fool of himself too.

~ Samuel Butler

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To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

~ Aldous Huxley

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Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.

~ Sue Murphy

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Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.

~ Alexander Pope

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Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.

~ Martha Scott

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Money will buy you a pretty dog, but it won't buy you the wag of his tail.

~ Henry Wheeler Shaw

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Every dog must have his day.

~ Jonathan Swift

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I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who have not got the guts to bite people themselves.

~ August Strindberg

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I have always thought of a dog lover as a dog that was in love with another dog.

~ James Thurber

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