DIVORCEDIVORCE ©winnie caw 2002
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Fission after fusion.

~ Rita Mae Brown

***

Divorce dates from just about the same time as marriage; I think that marriage is a few weeks the more ancient.

~ Voltaire

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Divorces are made in heaven.

~ Oscar Wilde

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You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

~ Henry Youngman

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Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Paper napkins never return from a laundry, nor love from a trip to the law courts.

~ John Barrymore

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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? Because they're worth it.

~ Henry Youngman

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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or to get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

Woody Allen

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Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.

~ Margo Kaufman

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Norman Mailer passed away yesterday after celebrating his 15th divorce and 16th marriage. When asked on one occasion why he married so often, the Pulitzer Prize-winner replied, "To get divorced. You don't know anything about a woman until you meet her in court."

~ Norman Mailer's mock obituary for himself

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The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

~ Johnny Carson

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The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

~ John Kenneth Galbraith

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When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along.

~ P J O'Rourke

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Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

~ Jean Kerr

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In our family we don't divorce our men - we bury them.

~ Ruth Gordon

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Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

~ Rita Rudner

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....and ALIMONY

The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

~ H L Mencken

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The curse of the writing classes.

~ Norman Mailer

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The high cost of leaving.

~ Unknown

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Bounty after the mutiny.

~ Max Kaufmann

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Billing minus cooing.

~ Mary Dorsey

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Disinterest, compounded annually.

~ Walter McDonald

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Old wives don't die if they're getting alimony.

~ David Brown

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A lot of women are getting alimony who don't earn it.

~ Don Herold

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Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.

***

No one is going to take Women's Liberation seriously until women recognise that they will not be thought of as equals in the secret privacy of men's most private mental parts until they eschew alimony.

~ Norman Mailer

***

She cried - and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

~ Tommy Manville

***

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