Song Titles   this page ©winnie caw 2003
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Superstitions and Old Wives Tales


Whimsy at Home

All My Exes Live In Texas
Beauty's In The Eye Of The Beerholder
Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Did I Shave My Legs For This?
Don't Put Me In The Ex-Files
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
He Can't Talk Without His Hands
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
I'd Rather Be Picked Up Here Than Put Down At Home
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
I Bought The Shoes That Just Walked Out On Me
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Got Tears In My Eyes From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
I Got You On My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
I Keep Forgetting I Forgot About You
I Left Something Turned On At Home
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
I'd Rather Pass Another Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops
If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure
If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
I'll Give You Something To Drink About
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever raised
It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket
Let's Do Something Cheap And Superficial
Make Me Late For Work Today
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer
Redneck Martians Stole My Baby
Remember To Remind Me I'm Leaving
Savin' The Honey For The Honeymoon
She Feels Like A New Man Tonite
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
She's Acting Single...I'm Drinking Doubles
Shut Up And Talk To Me
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
The Chick's Too Young To Fry
The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me)
The Pint Of No Return
There's A Tear In My Beer
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walkin' In
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
Venom Wearin' Denim
We Never Killed Each Other (But Didn't We Try?)
Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?
Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out, When I'm Dead And Gone?
Why Have You Left The One You Left Me For?
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
Your Alibi Called Today
Your Coffee's On The Table But Your Sugar's Out The Door
Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns
You're A Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
(You're Goin' To Ruin) My Bad Reputation
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

and there's more....

All I Want From You (Is Away)
All The Guys That Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Am I Double-Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?
Are You Drinkin' With Me Jesus?
Are You On The Top 40 Of The Lord?
At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self-Service Pump
Come Out Of The Wheatfield, Nellie, You're Going Against The Grain
Cow Cow Blues
Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
Cow Cow Strut
Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
Don't Chop Any Wood, Mother, I'm Comin' In With A Load
Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' On Your Mind
Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride
Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life)
Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
Get Off The Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars Is For The Beer)
Git Off'n The Floor Hannah (A Bitter News Year's Eve)
Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Go Back To Texas And Cheesy French Fry Lake
Goin' The Hell In Your Heavenly Arms
Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
High Cost Of Low Living
Hold On To Your Men..'Cuz She's Single Again
How Can I Get Over You If You Won't Get Out From Under Me?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
I Can't Pass The Bar, And There's One On The Way Home
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Care If It Rains Or Freezes 'Long As I Have My Plastic Jesus Sittin' On The Dashboard Of My Car
I Don't Do Floors
I Fell For Her, She Fell For Him, And He Fell For Me
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
I Gave Her The Ring, And She Gave Me The Finger
I Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
I Got Through Everythin' But The Door
I Only Miss You On The Days That End In 'Y'
I Made Up The Title, You Make Up The Song
I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning)
I Sent Her Artificial Flowers For Her Artificial Love
I Still Miss You Baby ...But My Aim Is Getting Better
I Want A Beer As Cold As My Ex-Wife's Heart
 I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me

I Went Back To My Fourth Wife For The Third Time And Gave Her A Second Chance To Make A First Class Fool Out Of Me

I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, 'Cuz I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Like You A Whole Lot Better If We Slept Together
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Jail By Now

If I'd a-Know'd That You'd a-Wanted To of Went With Me, I'd a-Seed That You'd a-Got To Get To Go

If I Had To Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You
If I Had My Life To Live Over, I'd Live Over A Delicatessen
If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen The Train
If the Devil Danced In Empty Pockets, He'd Have A Ball In Mine
If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back In
If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me
If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?
If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
If You Ever Get The Feelin' I Don't Love You, Feel Again
If You Leave Me, I'm Gone
If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave
If You Got The Money, Honey, I Got The Time

If You're Gonna Do Him Wrong Again, You Might As Well Do Him Wrong Again With Me

If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right

If You Want To Keep The Beer Real Cold, Put It Next To My Ex-Wife's Heart

If You Want Your Freedom PDQ, Divorce Me COD
I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones
I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams
I'm Drinkin' Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year)
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home

I'm Gonna Put A Bar In The Back Of My Car And Drive Myself To Drink

I'm In Love With A Capital U

I'm Just An Old Chunk Of Coal (But I'm Gonna Be A Diamond Someday)
I'm Married To A Waitress And I Don't Even Know Her Name
I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here
I'm Under The Table Over You
Is It Cold In Here, Or Is It Just You?

I've Got A Cowboy In The Saddle, And Another One's Holding My Horse
I've Got The Cob, If You've Got The Corn
My Lips Want To Stay (But My Heart Wants To Go)
I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night

I've Heard That Tear Stained Monologue You Do There By The Door Before You Go

It Ain't Easy Being Easy

It Took A Helluva Man To Take My Anne, But It Sure Didn't Take Him Long
It's Not The High Cost Of Living, It's The Cost Of Living High
I Would Kiss You Thru The Screendoor But It'd Strain Our Love

Jerimiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green And Purple Pills

Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
Jim I Wore A Tie Today
Last Night I Went To Bed With A '10' And Woke This Morning With A '2'
Legendary Chicken Fairy
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Meet Me In The Gravel Pit, Honey, 'Cuz I'm A Little Boulder There
Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy?

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn't You
Nashville Rash

Ned Nostril (And His South Seas Paradise, Put Your Blues On Ice, Cheap At Twice The Price Band, Icky Icky Ucky Ucky)

No Way, Conway (I Ain't Gonna Twitty Tonite)

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

Our Love Is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't The Same
Overlonely And Underkissed
Pardon Me, I've Been Pardonned
Phantom Of The Opry
Pick Me Up On Your Way Down
Pick Me Up Or Let Me Down
Poultry Promenade
Red Necks, White Socks, And Blue Ribbon Beer
Refried Dreams

Run For The Roundhouse Nellie (He Can't Corner You There)
Saddle Up The Stove Ma, I'm Riding The Range Tonite
She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw
She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed Anytime
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Looks Good Through The Bottom Of My Shot Glass
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, And All Through The Night It Was Honor And Offer
She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
She's Got The Rhythm (And I Got The Blues)
Slap 'Er Down Again Paw
Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
The Alcohall Of Fame
The Bridge Washed Out And I Can't Swim And My Baby's On The Other Side

The Last Word In Lonesome Is Me
The Old Home Fill 'Er And Keep On Truckin' Café
There Ain't Enough Room In My Fruit Of The Looms To Hold All My Lovin' For You

This Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad
This White Circle Round My Finger Means We're Through
Tight Fittin' Jeans
Timber...I'm Fallin' In Love
Trainwreck Of Emotion
Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother
Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
Warm Beer And Cold Kisses
Warm Beer Cold Women
We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now
Welcome To Dumpsville, Population Me
What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made A Loser Out Of Me
When The Lightning Struck The Coon Creek Party Line
When You Wrapped My Lunch In A Road Map, I Knew You Meant Goodbye

Who's Makin' Time With The Time-Keeper's Daughter, When The Time-Keeper's Keepin' Time?

Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw?
Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?
Yard Sale
You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'
You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man

You Can Lock Me Up In Jail And Throw Away The Key, But You Can't Keep My Face From Breaking Out

You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

You Changed Your Name From Brown To Jones, And Mine From Brown To Blue

You Done Stomped On My Heart (And You Mashed That Sucker Flat)

You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannisters Of Life
You'd Think My Bed Was A Bus Stop, The Way You Come And Go
You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off
You're Out Of Step (With The Beat Of My Heart)
You're The Ring Around My Bathtub, You're The Hangnail Of My Life

You've Already Put Big Old Tears In My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt In My Face?

You've Got Sawdust On The Floor Of Your Heart
80 Proof Bottle Of Tear Stopper
800 Pound Jesus

Song parodies here




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