Actor
Quotations ♠©
winnie caw 2002
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There were three things that Chico was always on - a phone, a horse or a broad.
~ Groucho Marx
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Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.
~ Ralph Richardson
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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
~ Sam Goldwyn
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The play was a great success, but the audience was a total failure.
~ Oscar Wilde
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She took her curtain-calls as though she had just been un-nailed from the cross.
~ Noël Coward
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This business is dog eat dog and nobody is gonna eat me.
~ Sam Goldwyn
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[critic's review of the film 'Ben-Hur']
Loved Ben, hated Hur.
~ Anon
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Nowadays Mitchum doesn't so much act as point his suit at people.
Russell Davies
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It was a cute picture. They used the basic story of Wuthering Heights and worked in surfriders.
~ Neil Simon, 'Last of the Red Hot Lovers', 1970
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We are paid to have dirty minds.
~ John Trevelyan [when film censor]
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Wet, she was a star - dry, she ain't.
~ Joe Pasternak (of the swimmer turned actress, Esther Williams)
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This might have been good for a picture - except it has too many characters in it.
~ Wilson Mizner (of the L A phone directory)
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Never let the bastard back in my room again - unless I need him.
~ Sam Goldwyn
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Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award.
~ Billy Wilder (attrib.)
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There was laughter in the back of the theatre, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.
~ George S Kaufmann
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I am suing Lord Beaverbrook for libel and hope for some lovely tax-free money in damages. He has very conveniently told some lies about me.
~ Evelyn Waugh
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I dislike censorship. Like an appendix it is useless when inert and dangerous when active.
~ Maurice Edelman
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
~ Groucho Marx (attrib.)
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The trouble with this business is the dearth of bad pictures.
~ Sam Goldwyn
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I wanna be just like you...all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.
~ Judd Nelson to Emilio Estevez, 'The Breakfast Club', 1985
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A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
~ Sam Goldwyn
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Lillian Gish may be a charming person, but she is not Ophelia. She comes on stage as if she had been sent for to sew rings on the new curtains.
~ Mrs Patrick Campbell
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I see your schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.
~ Rick Moranis to Bill Pullman, 'Spaceballs', 1987
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Whenever Mrs Kissel breaks wind, we beat the dog.
~ Max Showlater to Dudley Moore, '10', 1979
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Are we having fun yet?
~ Carol Burnett, 'Four Seasons', 1981
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That poor man. He's completely unspoiled by failure.
~ Noël Coward
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I'll have what she's having.
~ Estelle Reiner, 'When Harry Met Sally', 1989
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Ya wanna dance or would you rather just suck face?
~ Henry Fonda to Katharine Hepburn, 'On Golden Pond', 1981
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Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been.
~ Helen Mirren, 'The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover', 1990
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God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.
~ Lynn Redgrave, 'Georgy Girl', 1966
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I have to go now. I'm having an old friend for dinner.
~ Anthony Hopkins, 'Silence of the Lambs', 1990
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[when asked what he looked for in a film script]
Days off.
~ Spencer Tracy
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You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.
~ Michael Wilding
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[on being asked how old he was]
I am just turning forty and taking my time about it.
~ Harold Lloyd
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Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.
~ Jack Nicholson
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When I grow up, I still want to be a director.
~ Steven Spielberg
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
~ Bob Hope
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All my shows are great. Some of them are bad. But they are all great.
~ Lord Grade
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Behind the phoney tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
~ Oscar Levant
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Television? The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.
~ C P Scott
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It is astonishing how articulate one can become when alone and raving at a radio. Arguments and counter arguments, rhetoric and bombast flow from one's lips like scurf from the hair of a bank manager.
~ Stephen Fry, 'Paperweight', 1992
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[to an actor]
My dear boy, forget about the motivation. Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.
~ Noël Coward
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Gary Cooper and Greta Garbo may be the same person. Have you ever seen them together?
~ Ernst Lubitsch
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ.
~ Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman, 'Sleeper', 1973
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I suppose you know you have a wonderful body. I'd like to do it in clay.
Lola Albright to Kirk Douglas, 'Champion', 1949
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It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.
~ Bob Hope
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Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
~ Ernie Kovacs
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Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world and for being powerless to change it.
~ Clive James, 'Glued to the Box', 1991
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I told you 158 times I cannot stand little notes on my pillow. "We are out of cornflakes, F.U." It took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar. It's not your fault, Felix: it's a rotten combination that's all.
~ Walter Matthau to Jack Lemmon, 'The Odd Couple', 1968
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
~ Woody Allen, 'Play it Again Sam, 1972
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The only question I ever ask a woman is: What time is your husband coming home?
~ Paul Newman to Patricia Neal, 'Hud', 1963
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